Because it matters...

“People who help people remind me of you…”
 
A really good old friend said this to me the other night.  We hadn’t spoken in a while; in fact it’s been such a while I didn’t realize he’d moved out of town to the mainland months ago.  The catching up, and the comment couldn’t have come at a better time.  Lars and I are learning to think in matters of our ‘self-esteem banks,’ and lately my bank has been taking a hit and was nearing empty. I’ve had my fair share of dark, depressing, even suicidal thoughts lately.  In the heat of Lars’ and my most recent explosion, I made a few new mistakes, burned bridges with a few of his friends who now choose not to forgive me – which is within their right to do. 
 

To believe you know what’s better for someone’s heart than they themselves know is denying an individual autonomy.  In my honest opinion, it is the truest form of disrespect.
 
Today, is a sad day for me…
 

The Definition: http://www.cba.org/bc/public_media/rights/240.aspx
 
My favorite parts are:
 
"1. Truth or justification
A statement may hurt your reputation, but if it is true, anyone who says it has a valid defence if you sue them for defamation."
 
And
 

I’ve been so busy studying lately I haven’t had a chance to journal.  I am writing more than I’m typing these days, and I’ve learned more than I ever thought possible for such a short time period.  I’m in the top of my class and am struggling to stay there.  This means I go to school all day on weekdays and then I study all night and every weekend.  I rarely take time off. Lars and Martin deal with the housework and food throughout the week.

The first week of school is done.  It’s harder, more in-depth, and quicker paced than I was expecting.  I’ve found myself in quite the sour mood today, as a result, I’m sure. My head hurts and at various moments I’ve felt this incredible urge to start crying for no real apparent reason today.  I am not PMSing.  I do not like being without knowledge. I do like not being in control.

Meh.
 
That’s about all I feel I have to say these days.  The first time I ever heard that (and by ‘heard’ I mean ‘read’ as it’s a chat thing, I first saw in an email), it was Tareq Saade who said it to me…
 

Yesterday, Lars and I spent the morning breaking in Dennis' new Seadoo on Snow Lake.  Lars took me down a creek at the end of the lake, full of reeds and wildlife, where we saw a Beaver Lodge.  Martin has corrected us on the term as we'd be referring them to Beaver Houses, God forbid!  We sucked in some weeds and Lars had to take a swim to clean the engine out before we could head home.  Photos will come!  We ate lunch at the Golf Club (which was more like a concession stand), came home for a nap (this is a sleepy town), had a great homecooked-by-Ester dinner, and then went for a dusk drive to see what animals we could spot.  I can now add to my wild animal list:

Oh what a trip it's been!  With so much happening I have so much to share, but in the spirit of my mom I'll start with the number of wild animals we have spotted.  Here's the list thus far:

Yesterday, I met Ed.  It was awkward at first, then we all got drunk. He was quick to make it clear he didn't like me calling him Ed, and when I refused to call him dad he settled on, "Mr. Ladouceur".  Had I been sober, I'd probably have walked away right then and there.  Instead, I sarcastically and deliberately referred to him as Mister Ladouceur many times throughout the evening and in return he called me Miss Ladouceur.

I just cannot get my days right it seems.  For some reason, I have been off since the start of this trip.  We arrived a day early though I thought we were running late, and I keep thinking we're leaving a day later than we actually have planned.  We are not leaving early morning Sunday. We are leaving Saturday. This means we have a whole lot of stuff to fit into a lot less time; and neither Lars nor I are looking forward to the drive out.